"I just hope you're lying next to somebody Who knows how to love you like me There must be a good reason that you're gone Every now and then I think you Might want me to come show up at your door But I'm just too afraid that I'll be wrong" "We don't talk anymore.. Like we used to do... We don't love anymore What was all of it for?" My heart skipped a beat, the moment you replied, even thou it was simply a "Thanks. :)" Makes me wonder will I ever get over you..
A year has passed since you left us. Its still something I'm not use to whilst writing this post in the same room looking at the same bed you once slept on.. This year other than not being able to celebrate Chinese New Year it was your absences that makes it really different. No more saying of Chinese new year greetings, no more ang pows handed from you and even gathering around the dinner table seems slightly odd but I guess we just have to slowly get use to it.
In the process of writing this post I tried to look for some pictures I took with you since young and I realize that we only did that on rare occasions and we barely have a few photos together but I manage to find this, which both you and grandpa came along during a Haw Par Villa day trip with the cousins and uncles and aunt. This picture is a fave of mine in the bunch cuz its most likely the only photo I took with both of you and it reminded me how you guys took care of me when I was younger. Anyway as the whole family gathers for this day I hope you'll be watching over us together with Grandpa and giving us your blessing knowing that we miss you guys deeply..
Haven shared music for sometime so juz decided to arranged a few songs that I have been spinning on my nano these days... Ohhh.. maybe becuz it was eons ever since I last did a ;playmymusic post so this playlist is kinda long, just fyi. =)
Girls' Generation - THE BOYS (Korean Ver)
Quote from Hold 住姐 , if you are a kpop fan and you have not heard their latest single, your out! Not Fashion~ Anyway they back with vengeance after a successful debut @ JAPAN to their korean roots. They have 12 millions hits on youtube so far since the vid was loaded on 18th Oct, they also recorded a English version of the song too.
The Saturdays - My Heart Takes Over
I just like the lyrics of the song. Simply put it.
Cause if there's a chance We might've missed And if there's a RAY of light in this Baby you should know that this is where my heart takes over, over..over... And if there's a small piece left of us Somewhere in the matters we have last Baby look at me cause this is where my heart takes over, over..over...
Kelly Rowland - Down For Whatever
Crafting her niche in dance music I think she is heading towards the right direction with this single. Totally dance floor material.
Shy'm - "Si tu savais" (If you knew)
Released in 2008 and peaked at no 2 on the French charts, I got introduced to this great R&B number by my hip hop dance instructor on one of my Wednesday class. The song juz strikes me on the right note since I first heard it.
**Translation**
Oh, your eyes falling on me and taking me away
On your sweet face, I can make out the words and the poems. No need to speakeverything is written in our eyes And it makes me dream, but is it just because I'm talking about us?
Do you see me as I see you? Do you feel me as I feel you? Most of all, let's not ruin anything
Baby if you knew how much good you do me When we can steal some minutes every day I know how lucky we are to see so far And go our way together; your happiness is mine
Kelly Clarkson - "What Doesn't Kill You"
This for all Kelly Clarkson fans, I seriously think this will be either the next or 3rd single from her latest album "Stronger".
Enrique Iglesias Feat. Jennifer Lopez - Mouth 2 Mouth
I just dig this collaboration~ Its all about the real attraction and connection that I believe comes out naturally when 2 are drawn together. Do you feel it?
I missed you and sorry that I haven been writing to you cuz this is one those times that I'll reflect on myself and my life. I shall start pening down my thoughts again moving forward. Promise.
Today I've learned an important lesson, its not something new but juz something that I think I've forgotten along the way in life.
And thats to stay true to myself and not letting others or things to bring me down juz because I doing it for other's sake. Let's start making things right for myself from now on.
I will care for others and give them my best by accepting who they are and to be reciprorcated in that same way is the best that I can ask for.
I dedicate this to myself (A song a day keeps a emo Rey away)
I stare at my reflection in the mirror:
"Why am I doing this to myself?"
Losing my mind on a tiny error,
I nearly left the real me on the shelf.
No, no, no, no, no...
Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay.
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are!
.............................
Yes, no's, egos, fake shows, like WHOA!
Just go, and leave me alone!
Real talk, real life, good love, goodnight,
With a smile, that's my home!That's my home, no...
Only with each passing day it makes me realize even more that I'm not gonna get use to the fact that you have left us for good. Even though you always said that you have no more regrets and should reunite with grandpa. I know you did your best to put up a good but painful fight till the end. But it all happens too sudden while you were slowly recovering in ICU when we thought you gonna pull through.
During the first few days of your passing it was the toughest for me. I cried so much that I never thought I will. The pain was so immense that its beyond words to describe. However the worst was regretting not spending enough time with you during your last few months with us as I was buried by work and spend my time gallivanting with close friends instead.. This guilt ridden conscious will always haunt me.
Recalling the old times with you bringing me up just deepens the pain in me. Always playing that role when mum is busy with work. Especially those times where we cooked meals together, when you handed me my pocket money, the times we watched your Hongkong Dramas together, me woken up by your loud voice, times where we worked our butts off at our coffee stall in the hawker center or buying meals for you and those bickering sessions that we have. All these juz keep repeating itself like movie scenes in my mind.
Staying with me under the same roof for 27 year and seeing you everyday, the house without your voice or the empty room without you or even that empty sofa chair just seem so foreign to me. Your scent still lingers on the pillow you sleep on, your fave clothes, your medication and so many things reminds me of you. I really miss those times where I hold your hands every now and then, if I could wish for something I juz wanna hold them once again and tell you those things that I never did.
Nonetheless I'll be strong and your unconditional love for us will always reminds us how much you have put in and sacrifice for this family. The only relieve for us is that you no longer need to suffer the pain of dialysis that you have bared for the past 14-15 years and living to the age of 83 and with 5 loving children and 12 grandchildren that misses you deeply I'm sure you leave us without any regrets.
** If I seem distant, baby I am ** Words are like scissors, in your hands And there's no script to follow, so I just close my eyes That way it won't hurt so much, when we say goodbye I feel just like an actress, up on the stage I can't believe, what I'm hearing myself say And a porch light is my spotlight, so I play along with this lie That way it won't hurt so much, when we say goodbye
Did you ever love me? Does it even matter? Did you even notice, the whole word shatter? I just want to hold you, and tell you that I'm sorry But I just keep it all inside That way it won't hurt so much, when we say goodbye
My heart feels like a circus It's too much to take in It's hard to lose a love But you were my best friend So walk this high wire, alone tonight That way it won't hurt so much, when we say goodbye That way it won't hurt so much, when we say goodbye
That last look you had was so benevolent and peaceful hence I really hope and believe that right now you are at a place that you belong to and knowing you, you'll always be watching over us and be our guardian angel. Love you and will always miss you..
Finally.. like my Facebook status said. I'm so O.V.E.R.U.E.X.A.M.S! period~ Lol! Anyway cant juz sit back n relax. alr started looking for job. had send out my 2nd resume to Resort World, hope they'll get back to me.. Sooon... *Prays* Well.. still abit torn over what corporate job I shld head into. my heart tells me to venture the hospitality sector (explain my TP Tourism Diploma) but my head tells me to go for sumthing else that gives better moolah.. like the telecos aint gonna be much of an issue for me but kinda worried I might stucked there forever. so still pondering.. Guess.. I shld juz let nature take its course..
Anyway Girlicious is back with their latest vid. I totally LOVE the song man. but the vid is really cheap lah.. after 1m25secs its juz went down so badly that they probably hit somewhere near the core of Earth. n Natalie gain sooo much weight... n wats with the those lights! giving me headspins... Well. u'll be the judge....
Girlicious - Manic
Girlicious - Like me
Still prefer the old Girlicious with Tiffanie in it.. This vid is juz so much sassy, so much better..
Anyway! moving on! very excited lately cuz my Motorola Backflip was launch last wkend at Singtel exclusively... so gonna get my hands on it 'VERY SOON' with 'someone's' help of cuz.. n you know who u r *big wide smile* Lol! The time of Andriod has arrived! (ALL free Apps man!) n Windows Mobile is so passe. well. let us see how long Iphone can hold its fortress. haa..
Heard Singtel having a Roadshow at Taka again.. gonna chkout my baby this wkend of cuz, Baby here i come!
I'm back! Pardon me for the M.I.A, but the first half of the year has been a crazy ride for me. reservist, CNY, overloading of modules in school for my last semester, rushing countless assignments, work, personal commitments and the list goes on on.. blah blah blah..
Well. juz making a quick update n sharing some awesome tracks b4 I dive back into my books again. Took my first paper yesterday. 1 down 3 more to go. juz cant wait for the whole darn thing to end and start on my first corporate job which I've already started looking for.
Anyway.. today we have some J-pop tracks as well, nevertheless hope u guys will like what I have posted.
1) Yuya Matsushita - Trust me
The no 1 top spinner in my playlist now. this 20 y.o guy do have some serious chops going on. Feel that he will go far. n he does resembles a more gd looking Seven, (the now no where to be seen Korean Singer/Actor) at certain angles. Well. juz play the vid n I'm sure u guys will be charm by him.. His moves r so slick~~ ohh! n totally digging his pair of white sneakers man..
My ALL TIME FAVEJpop girlband is back with their latest release to celebrate their 15 anniversary. lotsa of fans had labeled this as a nod to their roots, cuz its a eurobeat rendition of a cover that debuted in 1983, giving it a very 80s disco and secret agent vibe. Loving every bit of the video.
3) BoA Feat Daichi Miura - Possibility
Featured in her latest Japanese album; Identity, that was release in Feb, this R&B ballad is really hitting all the right notes for me. BoA shld really heads towards this direction for her upcoming works..
4) Alicia Keys - Un-Thinkable (I'm Ready)
This shld be Ms Keys's nxt single from The Freedom of Element album, kinda reminds me of her early works, so surreal yet so soulful.. n she's getting HOTTER by the day.. Love her to bits.. n those who haven, pls check out The Freedom of Element. Its really one of my fave albums by her so far. 2 thumbs up!
5) Timbaland Feat Bran'Nu - Middle in Tha Middle
My personal FAVE from Timbaland's Shock Value II album, one of my top picks whenever I hit the gym..
6) Janelle Monae Feat Big Boi - Tightrope
Bum into this track by chance, and I muz say its a pretty quirky video and That Janelle can really GLIDE, some serious footwork there.
7) Linda Kiraly - Can't Let Go
A song that I posted before in 2008 on my LJ, been digging some of my old tracks lately and this is really one hella of a gd song that's worth sharing AGAIN. From what I found this is the Hungarian-American singer's first English debut single which she collaborated with Darkchild, no wonder I love this track so much.. n the lyrics... is must play song during breakups. Lol!
8) Christina Milian - One Kiss
Lastly, another old song that I dug out, I think its one of those songs that Ms Milian did but didnt manage to do any impact on the charts but I juz find this is a really great dance song that is not really justified. Well, personal opinions..
So I guess thats it for now. will be back n updating more frequently in May when I done with my darn exam. Till the nxt time then.
If that's the way you love You've got to learn so much If that's the way you say goodbye And this is how it ends And I'm alright within Never going to see me cry Cause I've cried
Chorus: So go on, go on and break my heart I'll be okay There's nothing you can do to me That's ever going to burn me
So go on, go on and leave my love Out on the street I'm fearless Better believe I'm fearless, fearless So oh woh oh woh oh...
If this is how it hurts It couldn't get much worse If this is how it feels to fall
Then that's the way it is We live with what we miss We learn to build another wall Till it falls
Chorus: So go on go on and break my heart I'll be okay There's nothing you can do to me That's ever going to burn me
So go on, go on and leave my love Out on the street I'm fearless Better believe I'm fearless, fearless
So oh woh oh woh...
If it's between love and losing To never have known the feeling And I'm still sad we've loved
And if I end up lonely At least I will be there knowing I believe in love
Go on go on break my heart I'll be okay I'm fearless Better believe I'm fearless fearless
So go on go on and break my heart I'll be okay There's nothing you can do to me That's ever going to bury me
So go on, go on and leave my love Out on the street I'm fearless Better believe I'm fearless, fearless
So oh woh oh woh...
So go on and leave my love Go on and leave my love Go on and leave my love Better believe I'm fearless, fearless Fearless...
This gonna be the last time that u'll mean this much to me and frm tomorrow onwards I promise I'll make things better for myself. And Feel much better.. I know I'm Fearless.. wad about u?
